It’s been an incredibly long day. My alarm went off at 5:00. I struggled out of bed 40 minutes later and was out of the house (amazingly) by 6:10. I was at work by 6:30. I worked at the Recorders Office until 2:30. I worked at my office until 7:00. I got home about 7:15.

However, I was greeted enthusiastically by my cat, Katy. She was beside herself to see me and to have the whole place to herself again. My friend, her kids, the dog and cat left today. While I enjoyed having them here, I don’t think Katy did. She spent much of their visit in hiding.

She has been zooming around the house nonstop! Oh the freedom when there is no reason to hide!

Silly cat. She was just as free when they were here. She just let fear grip her and keep her bound up. How sad to think of how often I do that myself!

I’ve been tagged by Hey_Its_Me.

Here’s how it works

1. Grab the book closest to you
2. Turn to page 161
3. Print the fifth complete sentence on your blog .

4. Tag five others

The book closes to me right now is COMING HOME by Robert Jeffress. The 5th complete sentence and the 6th (just because it’s really cool) is:

“How can you forgive someone instantly and completely? Only by remembering the forgiveness God has extended to you.”

I tag Chelle652; Made2Sing4Jesus; a_moments_thoughts; fuzzydi; StandNChrist

Some or you will remember my entry from a couple weeks ago. I detailed Ike’s (a dog) visit. Katy (my cat) wasn’t too pleased to have him here but she eventually seemed to come to some understanding that he wasn’t going to hurt her. The last several days, my friend Allison, her two girls, Ike, and Gertrude (her cat) have been to visit. Having Gertrude here has really been a stretch for Katy!

Day one: Katy retreated to beneath the dresser and pretty much stayed there. At one point, I heard her crying piteously. I checked and found Gertrude camped out in front of the dresser Katy was hiding under. Later, Katy ventured out of the room and I found her crying at the top of the stairs. Gertrude was sitting smugly three steps down.

Day two: Katy and Gertrude periodically had hissing contests. Again, Katy pretty much stuck to the relative safety of my room.

Day three: Ike decided he would rather sleep with me than Allison for some reason. When he hopped into bed, Katy retreated to the dresser, again. I got up a few hours later. Ike stayed in bed. I showered and emerged to find Katy in front of my closed door crying. When I peeked out, there was Gertrude — hissing at the closed door. Somehow, I made it downstairs to pack my lunch. All three pets followed. While Gertrude and Katy still kept a decent distance from each other, they seemed to call a truce. Katy had pretty much given up eating the last several days. I can tell she has begun to adjust as her food dish was empty when I came home.

The only revelation I have from my cat watching the last few days is that sometimes they just have to come to grips with the reality of the situation in their own time and on their own terms. No amount of coaxing was going to lure Katy out or convince her that she was safe. In some ways, that isn’t all that unlike human behavior. Sometimes we hunker down and hide even when others or God tells us its safe. We have to come to our own conclusions.

Children are born into the world completely egocentric. They believe that the universe revolves around them. In fact, infants actually only see their parents as extensions of themselves. As we grow up, our first lessons that the world does not revolve around us, usually come at the hands of our siblings who often have the audacity to believe that the world revolves around them. We go to preschool and learn to share. In the elementary school yard, we learn to take turns at the swings and when playing hopscotch and all of that. At least we are suppose to learn those things.

To a certain degree we probably learn those things, but there is always the idea in the back of our minds that the world really does revolve around us. None of us would admit that willingly, but if you really think about it . . . . When something happens or a decision needs to be made, I bet the first thing you think of is, “How will that impact me?” When someone is running late, I think about how it will impact my schedule. When things shift at work, I wonder what that means in terms of me.

Maybe I’m the only one who thinks this way, but then maybe I’m not. It’s self-preservation. It’s instinctual. But it isn’t very pretty to look at in black and white.

One of our other beliefs is that we are the exception to the rule. The rules are for everyone but us. There is always a reason why we shouldn’t have to conform to the pattern. Or maybe it is statistics. Statistically, something may be true but we it won’t happen to us. Statistically, the odds of this bad thing happening may be high or even just average, but it really won’t happen to me. You don’t buy it? If we didn’t believe we were the exception, then we wouldn’t be surprised when the car accident happened or the diagnosis came or whatever . . . .

We believe we are the exceptions. I believe I am the exception. There, I made it personal.

The problem is that it has crossed over to my spiritual life. Here are things I’m taught: Jesus loved me enough to die for my sin; Jesus is omniscent, all knowing, all powerful; I was created by God and for God.

But even though these are good things, I often see myself as the exception. Yes, Jesus died for your sin. But, does his blood cover my sin? In the deep recesses of my heart, I have my doubts. He is all knowing, but I often pretend he doesn’t know this particular secret. I never talk to him about it so it never gets dealt with. Yes, God created me, but maybe he made a mistake . . . .

Do any of those sound like you?

We must battle to accept the truth in scripture and that the Holy Spirit confirms in our souls. We need to soak in scripture until it seeps into every pore. We need to accept the truths of who we are before God before we can radically change. I’m just figuring out how to do this. I need to keep working on it.

I know deep down that I need to ACCEPT that I am NOT AN EXCEPTION. God loves me as dearly loved child. I was bought at a price. I am His.

May that truth shape my days and yours.

Here is a question I’ve always wondered about. My sister and I are identical twins. So, if my nieces and nephews were tested to see if I was gentically related to them, would it gentically look like I was their mother? Any genetists out there?

Last night at my Community Group (my church’s small group) I saw a Time Magazine article on birth order. I quickly perused it looking for the answer to my question: What happens when there are twins? How much impact does it have that I am 5 minutes older than my sister? Like so many birth order things that I have seen, it didn’t address the issue. I asked my friend, and she said she thinks that sometimes there is an “alpha” twin. I’m not sure which one of us that would apply to. In differing situations, we took on different roles. At least that is how I remember it. We were the oldest and I think we both had a lot of “oldest” characteristics like being perfectionists.

Is it birth order or did other things impact us too? For example, we were born premature. I weighed in at 3lbs 40z and she was 4lbs 3oz. They weren’t anticipating twins. (Yes, I’m showing my age here.) We were a surprise. We were in incubators for a time. She got to go home from the hospital several days before I did. How did that impact things? Did it make her more of a “first” born?

I find the whole birth order debate fascinating but not always helpful.

Of course there is also the question for genetics. How much does that shape who we are?

My paternal grandparents were Jesse and Louise. I sometimes wonder what characteristics I received from them. I’m not sure that I can pinpoint anything genetically. Rather, I can think of specific interactions that I had with them that helped shaped who I am. My grandfather loved geneolgy. I remember spending hours with him and looking at old family photos. I think my great-grandfather was also into it. Somewhere along the line, they traced my ancestry back to the parents of Robert Brooke (who immigrated from England to be the first British Govenor of Baltimore).  My sister and I found a family tree for Robert Brooke in the Cincinnati library that traced him back to Alexander the Great. Unfortunately, there was no way we could figure out how to copy it. It was huge.

My grandmother was a great listener. I remember many mornings willing myself to wake up early so that I could have some alone time with her. She would work on breakfast and I would rattle on and on about everything a 10-year-old finds fascinating. I was never much of a big talker. My time with my grandmother was an exception. I hated hearing everyone else get up.

Of course there were lots of other people in my life and lots of other (good and bad) experiences. How did all of those shape me. I suppose it comes down to the age old question of nature vs. nurture. Which is more important? I think I take a middle of the line approach. Genetics (nature) may predispose us to some things. Nurture helps shape who we become.

But ultimately, I think that we have a lot of choices — especially as we become adults. My church has been doing a series of “chats” about different issues. One of the ones I went to dealt with addictions. A few people were very concerned about tracing back their issue to the precipitating event. I’m not convinced that is necessary or all that helpful. I don’t believe in the “blame your parents” phenomenon that grips us as a nation. It might be helpful to understand where something began, but it isn’t a necessity. The real issue in our day to day lives is who are we now and do we take responsibility for that? Understanding where something began isn’t an excuse to not change it now.

Choice. We all have choices. I can blame my parents for lots of things if I wanted to. But the blaming doesn’t get me anywhere. I need to choose to act differently, to be different. I think that is what God calls me to. He wants me to understand who I am. Then He wants me to understand who he as called me to be. Then, with His help, I need to make choices that move me in that direction.

So, I’m off to make some choices about who I am going to be today. Hopefully, they more me in the right direction.

Who will you be today? What life choices will you make?