As we were driving we had to turn the heat on. On the other side of the 5 mile Mackinac Bridge, we were greeted with the sign, “Think Spring.” Though it was warm where we came from, it was still a bit chilly in the UP.

Flash forward. It’s Dec. 29th in central Illinois. It’s cold and grey out. All the Christmas festivities are done. People are coming out of their turkey comas to discover that life on the the other side of Christmas isn’t much different than life before Christmas — with the exception of the amount of debt they are carrying. That, of course, has grown. If they had to go to work this week, the week seemed to drag on and on and on even though if was a “short” work week.

I’ve found myself feeling a little glum. From the way people around me have been acting, I think they have felt that way as well. So, what do these two stories have to do with each other. More than you might think!

Let’s start with the present day. It might be easy to drift off into hopelessness. We are in for 3-4 more months of cold and gray skies. There aren’t really any major holidays to break up the monotony. (Okay, there are things like Lincoln’s Birthday and Martin Luther King Day — but it really depends on where you work if you get to have those things off. And then there is Valentine’s Day — the ultimate Hallmark Holiday. But enjoying that one depends on if you are with someone or not. So, my point stands. There aren’t any major holidays for everyone coming up soon.)

Even though it was May that year of the all night trek to camp, spring was slow in coming to the UP. And if I recall it correctly, it was gray.

But I like the outlook of those “uppers.” They knew that spring was coming and they were focused on it. It’s amazing that the image of that sign has stuck with me for so many years. I think of it now as an image of hope.

So, what are you focused on just past Christmas? Has the reason for the season been abandoned? Are you dismayed, as I often am, by how far you have yet to go in your spiritual life?

As Christians Paul tells us that the “hope of glory” resides in us. He writes in Colossians 1:21-27:

“Once you were alienated from God and were enemies in your minds because of your evil behavior. But now he has reconciled you by Christ’s physical body through death to present you holy in his sight, without blemish and free from accusation— if you continue in your faith, established and firm, not moved from the hope held out in the gospel . . . . Now I rejoice in what was suffered for you, and I fill up in my flesh what is still lacking in regard to Christ’s afflictions, for the sake of his body, which is the church. I have become its servant by the commission God gave me to present to you the word of God in its fullness— the mystery that has been kept hidden for ages and generations, but is now disclosed to the saints. To them God has chosen to make known among the Gentiles the glorious riches of this mystery, which is Christ in you, the hope of glory. “

Christ in you – the hope of glory. How amazing is that? It is not yet fully manifested, but it is there deep inside you and me. Like bulbs planted in the fall that will not blossom until spring, so is God’s hope in you. It is there. You have it already. It just may not be in full bloom yet. But it will be. Do not worry about that. When you are dismayed by how far you have to go or how long you have to wait, Think Spring. Think Jesus. That is where our hope lies.

Just thought I would share a couple of pictures.

This is Grace, Elena, and Allison early Christmas Eve day. I stopped in to take them their presents.

Both girls got string game books — though 2 different ones so more games are covered. Elena is doing Cat’s Whiskers here. I am excited to here that they have been working on them and enjoying them a lot!

I spoiled the cats and splurged on this carpeted thing-a-ma-bob. Katy loves it.

Actually, Mali loves it as well. Sometimes, one is on top and the other in the cubby. I just haven’t managed to get a picture of it yet.

Hope you are having great days.

Responsibility. Blame. I’m not sure, but perhaps they are opposite sides of the same coin. People don’t want to be “responsible” because they don’t want to be blamed for something. In our litigious society, can you fault them?

But it seems like we want to blame everyone but ourselves. (Though, often, no one minds taking the credit if something good happens!) It’s a coworkers fault. Maybe it all happened because of the way our parents raised us, so it really is their fault. Maybe it is God’s fault for not orchestrating events to our satisfaction — but we may not want to admit thinking that!

Why is it so hard to step up and say, “I messed up. I’m sorry. I’ll try to do better in the future.”

At the core, it is a mix of security and humility. Admitting we were wrong, puts us in the one down position. It exposes our tender parts to scrutiny. That breeds insecurity. It is also humbling. It means admitting we aren’t who we try to portray ourselves as.

I’ve been on both sides of this lately and even somewhat in the middle.

I volunteer. Sometimes, that is a good thing. Other times, I wonder, why bother? I’ve found myself frustrated with the leadership over administrative issues. When I approached someone about it, I was informed that I couldn’t really hold them accountable for a lack of follow through because administration wasn’t their gift. If I was going to bring the issue to light, I needed to be prepared to step up and take some of the load. So, any issue I see I need to be willing to shoulder the responsibility for?

And then there is work. I messed up today. Well, actually, it was a few days ago. But the mistake was caught today. Actually, I think two were caught today. I am a perfectionist, so that really stings. I found myself wanting to retreat emotionally. I wanted to say, “So, I’m no good at that. Don’t make me do it. There are other things I can do just fine.” The more appropriate thing would be to say, “Okay, how can I do better . . . .” Luckily, I wasn’t required to say much of anything (though I did apologize). But I could feel the first option creeping into my mood.

I work a number of places at the moment. It is amazing how quick people are to say, “I didn’t do it!” or “Was it my fault?” I don’t think either of them is a great response. “I didn’t do it” implies a certain amount of defensiveness. “Was it my fault” hints at a certain level of insecurity or paranoia. (Though, I guess people may be wondering if their job is secure.) I’m aware of both responses. I’m amazed at how much “Was it my fault?” is creeping into my vocabulary.

So, here are my suggestions. (I’ll take responsibility for them.):

• Own up when you make a mistake.
• Ask for help or more training if you need it.
• Give others grace when they make a mistake. This will help get rid of the paranoia in the culture.
• Give grace to yourself. Don’t make a mistake bigger than it needs to be.
• When caught between “I didn’t do it” and “Was it my fault,” take a step back and think about how you want to respond.
• Remember, that no one is perfect, but we are perfectly loved by a perfect God.

I’m all for connecting with others. I really am. But I confess to struggling with the whole issue of cell phones. I love the convenience, but I’ve set myself some rules with them. Here are my rules:

1. Don’t talk on them in a very public place unless you absolutely have to.
2. Screen your calls. In other words, don’t take the call unless you have to if you are with someone else.
3. Text messages are the same as taking the call. See rule #2.
4. Set it on silent during church or work or whatever.

I’ve just noticed it so much lately. I was recently doing counseling with a teen. I was astounded to have them text during session.

I spent yesterday at a friend’s house. At one point we played a card game called Wizard. One person got 2 calls in a row during the game. Everyone was waiting on him to play. I had started the round and played the winning card from the beginning. There wasn’t a need to follow suit in this hand. After a couple of minutes, I did the calculations and determined that it didn’t matter what he played. I confess to snatching one of his cards and playing it for him so that we could move on rather than listening to a onesided conversation!

What are your rules for cell phone use? It just seems that more and more cell phones get in the way of connecting with the people you are face to face with!

Things have been very hectic. I find myself lost in the whirlwind of the business of the season, being really tired, and trying to cope emotionally. Actually, I don’t want to make it sound like I am doing really poorly emotionally. I’m working hard at not going to those dark emotional places, but I can just see them in my peripheral vision even as I try to focus on Jesus.

A lot of it is just loneliness. I know that. I know it is normal for me to feel some of that at this time of year. I’m single and I’m not close to family. I have some wonderful friends, but there is still the ache to have people who “belong” to you.

Here is my dilemma. I’ve been helping with the power point for Sunday services for over a year now. Typically, it is 1-2 times a month. In August, Becky asked me to take over putting the schedule together and all that. It’s not particularly hard, but I didn’t really think through the responsibility end of it. For example, last Sunday when there was a glitch, everyone looked at me to find the answer.

I probably should have thought about it, but I didn’t think about Christmas Eve when making out the schedule. I’ve realized it and e-mailed to ask if someone could do it. So far, no luck. I even e-mailed, Josh, the worship team leader to see if he knew of someone who isn’t on the team who would be willing to do it for the evening. I haven’t heard back from him yet.

Doing power point in and of itself is not hard. What I have found hard the last year is that it means sitting alone (well, technically with the sound guy) in the box above everyone. It makes me feel lonely. It truly is an act of service — one that no one notices until there is a problem! I can handle it occasionally, but I am very wary of trying to handle it on Christmas Eve — particularly since the holidays are generally a low mood time of year for me anyway.

It boils down to this: I don’t want to sit alone in that box for Christmas Eve service and then go home and be alone again. It is too much aloneness.

Am I being selfish? Maybe. Someone has to sit up there . . . but then everyone else on the team is part of a couple or family and they have someone to be with later that night and Christmas morning.

I’ll probably end up doing it as no one is readily volunteering. Would you pray that I have a good heart about it? Pray that I can see it as a gift I am giving to the church and Jesus rather than something being taken away from me.

Hi to anyone who stopped over regarding my question on Lysa’s blog — http://www.lysaterkeurst.blogspot.com/ (If you didn’t come from there you should stop in. It is really interesting and fun.) I asked the question in the comment section: Which country occupied by Germany during WWII save the majority of it’s Jewish population (about 90%)?


The answer is Denmark! We don’t hear about that all that much, but it is a great story. They were occupied and the Danish government learned about the impending roundup of it’s Jewish citizens about 3 weeks before it was scheduled. They placed smuggled them out in false bottoms in fishing boats and saved about 3,000 lives. I think that is amazing!

I also think it a story of faith and hope. Denmark was an occupied nation and those involved risked much to smuggle their friends and neighbors and strangers to safety. They put faith into action. I also think they put hope into action. Without hope of success, they would have ignored the problem and many innocent lives would have been lost.

Hope — it is reaching and reaching and reaching. It is action in the midst of adversity and going against the odds because we know the One who holds us in the palm of his hand.

I’ve heard of parents playing the game with their kids where they jump off of some piece of furniture and the parents (usually dad) catches them. Kids love this type of thing. It’s really a game about trust. Can they trust you enough to catch them?

Last night I came home to find Mali on top of the refrigerator. She had to jump to the counter and then to the top of the refrigerator. (She’s not allowed on the counter, but that doesn’t stop her!) She was clearly glad to see me but seemed bewildered on how to get down. She was facing away from the way she had come up. As I took my boots off, she swayed back and forth trying to figure it out. I was about to help her out when she LAUNCHED herself onto my shoulder/coat and purred happily. I guess kittens play the trust game too!

I know one person whose father played the trust game with him. They did it about 10 times. On the 11th time, his father held out his arms, Larry jumped, and his father let his arms — and his son — fall. He stood over the crying boy and said, “That’s to teach you never to trust anyone.”

Lesson learned. Larry struggled with trust.

Do you struggle with trust? I do! I want to be like Mali and those children whose father’s always catch them! But, like Larry, I have learned that people can’t always be trusted and I need to be cautious.

I have a choice to make. I need to step out in faith. While I can’t always trust everyone, I can trust God all the time. He will catch me even if people don’t! The trick is figuring out how to apply that trust in God in practical ways. It involves risk. I need to still choose to risk with people.

What does trust look like for you?

Yesterday, I turned 39.  I had a very busy birthday. My friend, Jill, took me to lunch. She knows that I am concentrating on hope, so she made me a lovely bookmark with the word hope attached to it. And it was good just to talk about it some with her. It struck me later that I said, “I’m working on it . . . .” Yes, hope is something that can be worked on. It’s making a determination to change your mindset. That takes a lot of work.

While yesterday was a very good day, today I was reminded of how far I have to go in the hope, grace, and faith departments. I knew it was snowing last night. So, when I woke up this morning, I knew I would have to shovel my way out. Before getting ready for church, I pulled on some jeans and boots and headed outside. I was dismayed by the amount of snow we had gotten. Actually, the way my drive is situated, a lot of snow blows into my drive way in huge drifts. Not only was it a lot of snow, it was heavy.

Shoveling made me think about Bill, a friend who died last spring. He spent last winter shoveling my drive for me. As a result, I turned a bit melancholy.

Then I went in to shower and change and realized that there were problems with the toilet. After 15 minutes, things got fixed, but I was even more miserable.

I arrived at church being glad that it was an “off” Sunday for me. I run power point for the service 1-2 times a month. I was looking forward to just receiving and not worrying about cues and flow and all of that. But, there was a monkey wrench in things and I ended up needing to put the slides together in under 10 minutes and run the show. I confess that my heart was not in a good place. I cried through a few of the songs, staring resolutely at the screen and hoping the sound person wouldn’t notice.

I had a choice. I think I made the wrong one today. I let the situations get the best of me. Instead of fixing my eyes on Jesus, I looked at my circumstances. I missed out on an opportunity to serve with a grateful heart. I missed out on counting my blessings when my thoughts turned melancholy with the snow.

Hope is active. It is often a choice.

The other part of my birthday I spent with some children I really enjoy. Six of them I know well: Kolya (13), Austin (11), Alex (10), Addie (7), Elena (7), and Grace (5). I do things with them on a regular basis – but usually in sets of 2! Last year, I took Kolya, Austin, and Alex ice-skating. They loved it. I’m a horrible skater, but I enjoyed how much they liked it. My friend, Allison, went along. (She is Grace and Elena’s mom.) I figured the price out and for the group discount we needed 10 and it would mean 2 more could go for $2.00 more than what we would pay for 8. So, I called up Erica (9) and James (7) to see if they wanted to come. I didn’t think they had probably ever been, so I thought it would be a treat.

It was. Everyone seemed like they had a good time. But it struck me after church today, how hope skates. I think hope skates like James and Addie. It was the first time for both of them. They were fearless. When they fell, they got right back up and shot off again. No holding onto the wall for them!

It’s not that we should never be cautious. It’s just that sometimes our caution keeps us stuck by the wall rather than whizzing around the rink. Hope takes risks because in the end it trusts that things will be okay. It says, “I may fall, but I can get back up.” It says, “I know the ONE who will always give me a hand up.”

There is a certain abandon about hope. Hope skates without the wall.